The Battle in Seattle

Oregon... never give an inch.

Anyone?

I know at least one person will get it.

Spend the night in a Motel 6 outside of Portland. Wake up to phone call from front desk. Sir are you planning on checking out any time soon? No. Check out was 30 minutes ago. Oh.

Head into Portland for lunch. Possibly the greenest city we have been to, as in lots of plants and trees and grassy areas. Stop at a restaurant on the canal walk. Wait 15 minutes for lunch to arrive. I watch an old lady give a waiter some good old fashioned sass. Waiter/sandwich maker approaches and informs me they are out of sourdough. Yes whole wheat is fine. Wait 30 minutes for lunch to arrive. Drink 2 beers. See an American Bulldog puppy, decide I am getting one upon return to Boston. Wait 10 more minutes. Lunch, a turkey club sandwich, finally arrives.

Drive to Seattle. Encounter traffic. Arrive at Uncle L and Aunt M's house. Notice the anonymity. Get to see Samuel Jackson who believe it or not lives there. We have a Nerf gun fight. He wins.

The next day we go into the city and see a Mariners game, they are in the process of losing by a combined series score of 18 to 0.

Climb the space needle, via elevator. Get to the top. Jump down, via elevator. In lobby is a booth where you can purchase pictures that have been taken of you prior to ascending the needle. I take out my digital camera to take a picture of a picture. Clerk; Sir, you cant take a picture of the picture. Me; oh I'm not, I'm sorry. Click.

Eat at Boom restaurant. Start to notice the high percentage of attractive women in Seattle. Mojito. Fried Chicken Wing things. Mojito. Definitely notice the higher percentage of attractive women in Seattle. BOOM.

Meet up with a friend of Eric's and her roomate. Boom (okay last use of boom). Drink some ginger flavored vodka with strawberries floating in it. Head to first bar. Get a beer. Cant get into second bar because there is a block party going on, apparently Sonic Youth were playing.

Walk back. I see a sign for hot dogs pointing a bar door. Turning to everyone else I say; Fuck yea! I could go for a hotdog. Girl I'm walking with tells me I dont want those hot dogs. I ask why not. She points at the bar. A group of men is crowded around the entrance. One is wearing assless chaps with a leather speedo, a leather vest with nothing on underneath, a huge Tom Selleck mustache, and a leather biker hat thing. He seems to be getting emotional and his other buddies are trying to calm him down.

Now I suppose in some places it is okay to falsy advertise in order to draw in a large crowd, but sometimes it is not okay. I really wanted a hot dog, and by hot dog I mean some sort of meat packaged into a tube-like shape and placed between a bread bun. Not a penis dog placed between a man's bun.

Take a cab to the third bar. Walk in. Woman is reading at a far corner of the bar, at a table two men are playing dominoes and in the back a man is singing YMCA kareoke style. Jager bombs. I get to meet the first people I have ever met from Idaho, at first I am incredulous but I convince them to let me see their driver's liscences. I get the feeling they are unnapreciative of my telling them I thought that they didnt exsist and were just figments of Montanian's imaginations.

I chat up the bartenders. They make a red looking drink concoction. I ask what it is. A Washington Apple. Crown Royal Whiskey, Sour Apple Pucker Schnapps and Cranberry juice. The bartender gives me 4, on the house, one for each member of our party.

Washington Apple. Its good. I give one to the girl next to me. I look around for Eric, he is outside. Washington Apple. Its still good. Leave the 4th for the Idahoians.

Bud Light. I'm on a stage singing kareoke to Sexual Healing. At one point I leave the stage and serenade a girl in the audience. She looks entertained, but some sullen guy across the table from her looks like he isnt enjoying the show.

Leave the bar. Switch t-shirts with a girl. I am now a big fan of blouses. Get to 5th bar. Dance a little, I think.

That's Seattle.

(editor's note, The end was a little different before, however I felt it might have been a little bit much, even for this blog, if you got to read that part good for you, if not, then good for you as well. Just ask me about it)

I guess I'll update later.