Nash Vegas.

In 1864 General Sherman of the Union Army into and occupied Nashville, crushing the Confederate Army of Tennessee, decisively turning the tide of war the Union's way and ultimately proving to be one of the final battles of the civil war.

Sunday, July 12 2009/1864

Dearest Gloria,

I write home with a heavy heart. How I long to hold you in my arms and feel your tender embrace. But alas as fortune would have it I must live the life of a soldier. And as all soldiers do I must carry that weight of freedom upon my shoulders. That weight comes with a heavy price. And separation from you is the highest price of them all.

The march to Nashville has been pleasant. Scattered resistance, mostly rag-tag regiments who have fallen out of communication with their superiors. The locals seem to have a affinity for Waffle houses and Shoneys. The latter is quite good, however nobody has yet to be brave enough to eat at a Shoneys. In fact we have an open bet going as to what the correct pronunciation of Shoneys actually is.

Tennessee is a beautiful place. We stopped at a local munitions depot store and picked up enough firepower to blow off all ten digits and then some. We stopped quickly to raise up some rations from a local Jack living in a box house. Then we burned it down, teach these boys of dixie a lesson.

Ominious clouds are gathering on the distance, shadowing our approach into Nashville.
Much like the storm gathering on the horizon, battle is approaching. I shall write to you later, Gloria.
It is your correspondances that keep me going through the cold southern nights.

First Lietenant Brigideir General Jake Frank .

PS: here is what really happened in nashvegas.

Drove into Nashville. Drove out of Nashville. Drove back into Nashville. Discover where music row is. Drive through music row. Drive out of music row. Drive back through music row. Stop at the Nashville Tavern. Young pretty woman singing Hank Williams jr songs. New meaning to the term 1 in a million.

Bar only has PBR and Natty Light on draft. Order pitcher number 1. It comes with extra beers. Thunderstorm arrives.

Drive to a bar recomended by a local. Yea right, we are not going in there. Pee on the side of a porta-potty. Find the bars downtown. Go to first bar. Dont even make it through the doorway before getting somewhat rattled by the plethora of cowboy hats and Ed Hardy wearing urban cowboys. Bouncer is wearing a utility belt with what looks like mace and handcuffs.

Walk down street to second bar. Meet the future middle weight UFC champion, he also just got out of Ranger school. Whiskey and a beer. Meet our first locals. Dont understand a word they say for the rest of the night. Beer. Whiskey. Beer. In conversation about fighting Eric is telling the local you cant punch anyone in the face anymore for fear of getting sued; his reply, 'thats why you need one of these,' and pulls out a knife and stabs it into the bar. Bartender laughs. Beer. Talking to an ex-marine who has a phd and teaches high school with a loaded 40 calibur in his desk. The other day he pulled it out on a student. Every girl has a wedding ring on.

Bar number two. Beer. Every girl has a wedding ring on.

Bar number three. Learn how to speak country from bartender, 'BAR! Whiskey and a Beer!' Walk into bar, knock over a chair loudly, band thanks me. Whiskey and a beer. Walk into bathroom. Walk out of woman's bathroom. Walk into men's room. Every girl has a wedding ring on.

Bar number 4. Beer. See asshole wearing a St. Louis tshirt. 10 minute conversation about how much the cubs suck. Beer. Dan arrives. Yell loudly with a Texan. We leave.

Dont remember what happens next. Sitting in a Waffle house. Its 3 am and waitress is pissed off at no one in particular. Waffle and Hashbrowns covered and smothered. Tip the surly waitress 90% on a 5 dollar meal. Fall asleep.

Still have three boxes of fireworks in the trunk.